Call me dramatic, emotional, too much of a forward-thinker (if there is such a word) but I already think about her debut...:)
I saw an Oprah episode where a mother was diagnosed of breast cancer. She only had a few months to live and she had a six year-old daughter. I was crying through the whole episode because the mother had to videotape everything that she wanted to tell her daughter...
She knew that she won't be there in the most important moments of her daughter's life..All the stages and phases..She told her about how to live..she even taught her how to put on make-up! :)
Now the daughter's 18 and she cried when they heard her mother's final voice tape. The last one she was able to make before she died.
When I said to God that my life was in His hands, it was so easy to say, "Bahala na,Lord, kung oras ko na" but you know this time...it's different.
My prayer is...Lord, make me a good parent...and let me live long enough to see her through life...guide her, see her grow into a young lady, choose her life partner and be a good mother herself or..just whatever you wish her to be.
Bless me with good health, Lord. I want to be there for this little girl...:)
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
An Angel Left Too Soon
Angel died.
The reality of that statement is not sinking in. It doesn't ring true. I have to say it over and over again. 30 years old. Why.....
How fleeting life is.. Even if we know that death is certain, we do not know when it will come. What about your little girl, Angel? Why did I let months pass without getting in touch with you? We will miss you...your laughter, your sweetness, how you always made us pose for pictures in an embrace or a kiss...You try to make everyone happy. You give generously. I still have your gift. I wonder if I have really thanked you for it. My boys adore you because you took time to listen to them. You have shared...YOU. You are beautiful!
I am just so sorry I wasn't able to tell you all of these. You just left us too soon.....
May you rest in peace and find comfort in God's loving arms. Until we see each other again, please say a prayer for us here.
Leaving The Way Open
I received some news which devastated me. I know that I should accept the fact that I cannot please everyone. That people will say the meanest of things and out of spite. You try to do good, be good, be at your best...but you will still get hurt. I wrote a note a few years ago and I've included it for printing. It's entitled "It's Your Choice". And now, I am still writing about the same topic..
I was angry..and hurt. I wanted desparately to avenge myself or say something but I know that anything I do out of anger won't help. Should these people's words really matter....
But then, God wanted to tell ME something...
This email was sent by Bon Patdu. I want to share this with you.
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for God's wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay requite, says the Lord” Romans 12:19
We all go through situations where we’re not being treated fairly. Maybe somebody is talking behind your back or trying to make you look bad, maybe you were overlooked for a promotion or cheated. When we’re being mistreated, the natural thing is to try to defend ourselves and set the record straight. Human nature wants to get even and get revenge. But the Bible says, “Vengeance is Mine… says the Lord.” That means God wants to make your wrongs right. He wants to pay you back for every unfair thing that has happened. He is a God of justice. Notice: you can either avenge yourself or you can let God be your avenger, but you can’t have it both ways. If you take matters into your own hands, then God is going to step back and say, “Go ahead, do it your way. Looks like you don’t need My help.” But on the other hand, if we choose to stay on the high road and say, “No, I’m going to let God be my avenger and trust God to bring justice into my life”, then you are leaving the way open for God to move mightily on your behalf.
God bless us!
Giving Birth
A few days to go. I’m having the ultrasound today to know if it is alright to have the C-Section earlier than the 21st. I am excited…and again anxious…about the future. It sounds a long way off but I can see it all. Taking in the good with the bad. I don’t want to go my cynical way. I have to make a different scenario altogether for this little baby girl.
The two “kuya” 's have started sleeping in their own room. Bought a double deck for them and they have been camping there for days with their cousin Kyle. Mind you, their room has been a long process of negotiations, conditions and encouragement. I am excited for them and at the same time, sad that they wouldn’t be sleeping in the same room with me anymore. The most glaring sign that they’re..growing up.
A crib now sits beside my bed. It is quite an unusual sight after more than ten years. The prospect of sleepless nights, 3am feedings, doesn’t bother me that much. Maybe because I am much older now than when I first had Edman and Tommy. When I look at my sleeping boys in their decks, it is almost like they’re in their own cribs but insanely bigger and longer.
They are both excited for their little sister, Castielle. Edman is saying he’ll be graduating from college when Cas enters Grade School. They’ve got a lot of things planned for her… I’m proud of the Kuya’s. They have accepted their situation. That was how they were over the years, trying to take things in stride at such an early age. I think this is also how they have matured.
My marriage ended when Tommy was three. He was so young to understand what was happening. Now that they’re older, I still try to explain to them why it happened. I also told them I was sorry it happened. Edman said in his 5 year old voice, “Hindi mo sadya, Ma.”
I promised them that I would make everything better, if not right. I have been responsible for them since day one…as I will also be responsible for this beautiful gift from God. My little angel Castielle. ..coming out in a few days. I pray fervently to God that I would be a good mother, that she would be stronger than I was, to be born in a world I have created, a fault not of her own.
It would not be fair to this little creature of God, to be welcomed this way.
Overflowing love and happiness must envelope her!! That is all she deserves!
Thank you, Lord, for this gift. Give me strength as I go into the operating room. Bless the hands of my doctors..
My life has always been in Your hands and now there is another life that matters…
On The Clouds
I'm on the plane again...
It's usually during these times that I put my thoughts to paper, put my mind at ease. For a while at least. :)
It's also in these times that I realize that my life is not anymore in my hands..(Here I go again, worrying how the plane is going to carry us all passengers across with the poor weather).
I try to calm myself by saying a little prayer. I am at peace. I appreciate the silence.
I think about my kids, who said goodbye to me this morning...countless times with wet, sloppy, heavenly kisses...(that just placed a smile on my face as I wrote those lines).
I look out the window and I see the vast green landscape, so much like those in the movies I've watched. Tuscany.
In a few moments, I will be on the clouds. The wonder of technology..and the awesome wonder of God's creation.
How easily you can get lost in its beauty.
Brought back to reality when I heard the plane's crew announcing the start of its inflight game. (Hmm, yes Cebu Pac). And would you know? It was my seatmate who won a prize! She said it was the first time she ever joined the game.
I told her that my shyness (?) takes over and even if I knew the answer I wouldn't dare raise my hand...
Doesn't hurt to talk to strangers once-in-awhile...share the joy...spread the cheerfulness. LIFE IS GOOD!
A familiar thud and the plane's landing gear is in its place. I look outside and see evidence of El Nino..unfamiliar surrounding.
A few more days to go before I'm home...
April 28, 2010
It's usually during these times that I put my thoughts to paper, put my mind at ease. For a while at least. :)
It's also in these times that I realize that my life is not anymore in my hands..(Here I go again, worrying how the plane is going to carry us all passengers across with the poor weather).
I try to calm myself by saying a little prayer. I am at peace. I appreciate the silence.
I think about my kids, who said goodbye to me this morning...countless times with wet, sloppy, heavenly kisses...(that just placed a smile on my face as I wrote those lines).
I look out the window and I see the vast green landscape, so much like those in the movies I've watched. Tuscany.
In a few moments, I will be on the clouds. The wonder of technology..and the awesome wonder of God's creation.
How easily you can get lost in its beauty.
Brought back to reality when I heard the plane's crew announcing the start of its inflight game. (Hmm, yes Cebu Pac). And would you know? It was my seatmate who won a prize! She said it was the first time she ever joined the game.
I told her that my shyness (?) takes over and even if I knew the answer I wouldn't dare raise my hand...
Doesn't hurt to talk to strangers once-in-awhile...share the joy...spread the cheerfulness. LIFE IS GOOD!
A familiar thud and the plane's landing gear is in its place. I look outside and see evidence of El Nino..unfamiliar surrounding.
A few more days to go before I'm home...
April 28, 2010
Motherhood
Tommy asked me to stay beside him a little longer in bed..we hugged.. He had a tiring but fun day at the beach yesterday.
I can't explain how I feel every time my children kiss or embrace me...it just takes all your worries away...happy sigh. :)
I have been writing for years about life but what I usually write most about is..motherhood. I believe it's the toughest assignment I've ever been given.
When I was a teenager (and have not been good to my mom,heehee), she would only tell me, "Wait till you become a mother yourself.." It sounded more like a danger warning! Haha!
Now, here I am, a mother..with all sorts of emotions..Even if some tell me I'm doing a great job raising my kids, I still ask myself, "Am I really? Is this the best I can be?" It was my mom who did the greatest job of raising me....
I think that that's the most valuable thing I learned about being a mom, I realize that I am blessed to have an amazing mother...and this page itself is not enough to begin to tell you how and why...
Happy mother's day to you,Ma! (I'll just print this for you because I know you will never get around to reading this..no facebook account).
Happy mother's day to all mothers!! God bless us in the bravest role we're in!!
I can't explain how I feel every time my children kiss or embrace me...it just takes all your worries away...happy sigh. :)
I have been writing for years about life but what I usually write most about is..motherhood. I believe it's the toughest assignment I've ever been given.
When I was a teenager (and have not been good to my mom,heehee), she would only tell me, "Wait till you become a mother yourself.." It sounded more like a danger warning! Haha!
Now, here I am, a mother..with all sorts of emotions..Even if some tell me I'm doing a great job raising my kids, I still ask myself, "Am I really? Is this the best I can be?" It was my mom who did the greatest job of raising me....
I think that that's the most valuable thing I learned about being a mom, I realize that I am blessed to have an amazing mother...and this page itself is not enough to begin to tell you how and why...
Happy mother's day to you,Ma! (I'll just print this for you because I know you will never get around to reading this..no facebook account).
Happy mother's day to all mothers!! God bless us in the bravest role we're in!!
If Only I Could Make Time Slow Down...
My son said that he felt different this morning.. but not in a bad way, he stressed. I just know he didn't want to get me worried.
He just turned 12 yesterday. He waited for 5:01 pm to announce the official changing of his age. He looked for his birth certificate to see what time he came to being! :)
He is already 5 foot tall and it was hard for me to imagine that I used to put him to sleep in my arms... that when he was 3 years old, he pressed the stop button of the escalator of JS Gaisano...or he drank a whole bottle of cold syrup and we ended up in the emergency room... and I remember the time he placed a pellet of his toy gun to his nose and got stuck so it needed an emergency operation. (They had to put him to sleep...) Or the time he hit his head on Mama's rectangular center table because he wanted to know how dizzy he will be by turning round and round. There was blood on his forehead and face! I was at work when I got a call about this!!
Now, he's all grown. I now go with him to his basketball games..buy him shirts for teens..buy gifts for girl friends' birthdays.. (they are just friends who are girls, Ma...) Compete for time at the computer because he said he needed to research about something in the internet. But somehow, knowing that he has a "chat-date"? I don't know if there is ever a word... although he will never admit it.
Time flies....
He went me with me to my high school reunion which lasted till midnight...and in time to greet him a happy birthday... I know, I know...just this one time.. :)
If only I could make time slow down......
Take Care of the Minutes
It can be a bit overwhelming that you are starting a new year…
What with all the resolutions, plans, dreams..
Weeks before the first day of 2010, I had this feeling of excitement.. I can’t explain it! I just am excited. Call it intuition or gut-feel, I know that something good is going to come this year. Positive thinking?!
I don’t know if I thought this way last year. I have no idea. Maybe not.
So what is it with this year or with any other year that had just begun?
Maybe this time, I am not too afraid of what’s in store for me and my children’s future. . or that if I made mistakes before, I know that there are still second chances, or third??
I am not afraid anymore. (I know my strength comes from you, Lord..)
My eyes are wide open now. I know I should overlook those holes. My favorite poem (Portia Nelson) from Jasper keeps me on track. I have to get on with the 4th and 5th chapters soon.
Good friends and family keep me going. I am so blessed and I thank God for them!!
One day at a time. “Take care of the minutes and the hours and the years will take care of themselves”.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! God be with all of us every second..
What with all the resolutions, plans, dreams..
Weeks before the first day of 2010, I had this feeling of excitement.. I can’t explain it! I just am excited. Call it intuition or gut-feel, I know that something good is going to come this year. Positive thinking?!
I don’t know if I thought this way last year. I have no idea. Maybe not.
So what is it with this year or with any other year that had just begun?
Maybe this time, I am not too afraid of what’s in store for me and my children’s future. . or that if I made mistakes before, I know that there are still second chances, or third??
I am not afraid anymore. (I know my strength comes from you, Lord..)
My eyes are wide open now. I know I should overlook those holes. My favorite poem (Portia Nelson) from Jasper keeps me on track. I have to get on with the 4th and 5th chapters soon.
Good friends and family keep me going. I am so blessed and I thank God for them!!
One day at a time. “Take care of the minutes and the hours and the years will take care of themselves”.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! God be with all of us every second..
18 again for the second time
It's my 36th birthday...my sisters and other family members kept teasing that this was going to be my saddest birthday. I did not anticipate it and I sort of dreaded the day.. Didn't plan on any parties or get-together like I normally do every single year. I guess they already know the reason why.
I kept thinking..how could I let ONE single event and decision ruin my chance to celebrate with my loved-ones? Why couldn't I realize that the one good reason enough to celebrate life is my family....
It was not fair to them...or anyone who loved me. I know that they only want me simply..to be happy. I know that I wouldn't have been able to go through all that I have been through without them. And my friends...oh,how they suffered listening endlessly about my difficulties, my heartaches.. :)
I know that I have to be reminded of how much they love me...I would only have to open my eyes and thank God for my family, my children, Tommy and Edman who make my heart soar (and at times, my blood to boil!!), my friends and special friends who have stood by me for more than two decades...
God is not finished with me yet...and even if I feel that the road that I'm treading is rough, I know that it's not going to be a lonely walk.
Thank you God for another year and for always showing me that I am not alone...
I kept thinking..how could I let ONE single event and decision ruin my chance to celebrate with my loved-ones? Why couldn't I realize that the one good reason enough to celebrate life is my family....
It was not fair to them...or anyone who loved me. I know that they only want me simply..to be happy. I know that I wouldn't have been able to go through all that I have been through without them. And my friends...oh,how they suffered listening endlessly about my difficulties, my heartaches.. :)
I know that I have to be reminded of how much they love me...I would only have to open my eyes and thank God for my family, my children, Tommy and Edman who make my heart soar (and at times, my blood to boil!!), my friends and special friends who have stood by me for more than two decades...
God is not finished with me yet...and even if I feel that the road that I'm treading is rough, I know that it's not going to be a lonely walk.
Thank you God for another year and for always showing me that I am not alone...
Hope for...
Hope for the Filipino Government?
Never tried this topic before.. maybe because I thought it would be pointless.. I shy away from newspapers, I try to get news when I can from TV or from the internet.
I was with high school batch mates a few weeks ago at Raz's house. I am almost always absent from this get-together but that night, I was present!I just came from an illness and vowed to myself that I would stay only for an hour or so.
I'm glad I stayed longer. It was the first time I commented and expressed frustration about our government. I really didn't want to say anything. I wanted to stay silent and let the course of the conversation die down and switch to another topic.
But it didn't. I believe that a lot of Filipinos are waiting for a chance to be heard or make a difference. Some also, like me, may have just given up HOPE...I thought I lost hope. It was wrong, I know. What would it be like for my children? Would we just try migrating to another country? I have never thought about that years before...
There are a few politicians now worth listening to, with whom you would see the purity of their intentions...may we have more people running our country like that...and in the manner that our President Cory Aquino did.
I was struck by what I heard this morning from her eulogy...that she was proud to be Filipino. She has incorporated that in most of her speeches abroad...
I hope I have that same devotion... I hope for HOPE...
I still placed my right hand over my chest when our National Anthem was played this morning....
Never tried this topic before.. maybe because I thought it would be pointless.. I shy away from newspapers, I try to get news when I can from TV or from the internet.
I was with high school batch mates a few weeks ago at Raz's house. I am almost always absent from this get-together but that night, I was present!I just came from an illness and vowed to myself that I would stay only for an hour or so.
I'm glad I stayed longer. It was the first time I commented and expressed frustration about our government. I really didn't want to say anything. I wanted to stay silent and let the course of the conversation die down and switch to another topic.
But it didn't. I believe that a lot of Filipinos are waiting for a chance to be heard or make a difference. Some also, like me, may have just given up HOPE...I thought I lost hope. It was wrong, I know. What would it be like for my children? Would we just try migrating to another country? I have never thought about that years before...
There are a few politicians now worth listening to, with whom you would see the purity of their intentions...may we have more people running our country like that...and in the manner that our President Cory Aquino did.
I was struck by what I heard this morning from her eulogy...that she was proud to be Filipino. She has incorporated that in most of her speeches abroad...
I hope I have that same devotion... I hope for HOPE...
I still placed my right hand over my chest when our National Anthem was played this morning....
NDE
(I wrote this yesterday, June 20, 09 in CDO)
I am sipping a Choco-Mint Raspberry Smoothie as I am writing this. I have a few hours to go before my flight back home to Davao.
I have always seen my job as something that keeps me away from my boys. The night before I left for CDO, Edman asked me to quit! He said, "Quit your job,Ma" He had to say it again before falling off to sleep. "Quit your job,Ma.."
Here I am contemplating for days as I am going about my responsibilities as manager. But somehow, my mind finds its way back to my son's statement...
A litany of reasons why and why NOT!
But I wouldn't go to that now as I am having my quiet time. Oops, it's not actually quiet. I am in Limketkai Mall and it is about as noisy as my thoughts!! :)
A lot of people walking past me in the last few minutes. They seem to look happy? Maybe shopping does that. I did some retail therapy myself. Guilty...
Maybe I should just follow their lead. Walk without a care in the world. Enjoying the weekend and stop thinking these dreary thoughts.
Wait, this smoothie is really good... :)
P.S.
That should really be my ending but my plane ride was horrendous....I thought I wouldn't make it back home alive. Call it "exag" but it was a 10-second or more turbulence. The plane swayed left to right. Promise!!! Then shook a number of times. I thought of Edman and Tommy, felt helpless and just surrendered...all I could do was pray to God for help..
Whew.... God is good. Maybe it's just not my time yet and that I should be happy to be alive!!!
I've been watching too many Air Crash investigation episodes...........
I am sipping a Choco-Mint Raspberry Smoothie as I am writing this. I have a few hours to go before my flight back home to Davao.
I have always seen my job as something that keeps me away from my boys. The night before I left for CDO, Edman asked me to quit! He said, "Quit your job,Ma" He had to say it again before falling off to sleep. "Quit your job,Ma.."
Here I am contemplating for days as I am going about my responsibilities as manager. But somehow, my mind finds its way back to my son's statement...
A litany of reasons why and why NOT!
But I wouldn't go to that now as I am having my quiet time. Oops, it's not actually quiet. I am in Limketkai Mall and it is about as noisy as my thoughts!! :)
A lot of people walking past me in the last few minutes. They seem to look happy? Maybe shopping does that. I did some retail therapy myself. Guilty...
Maybe I should just follow their lead. Walk without a care in the world. Enjoying the weekend and stop thinking these dreary thoughts.
Wait, this smoothie is really good... :)
P.S.
That should really be my ending but my plane ride was horrendous....I thought I wouldn't make it back home alive. Call it "exag" but it was a 10-second or more turbulence. The plane swayed left to right. Promise!!! Then shook a number of times. I thought of Edman and Tommy, felt helpless and just surrendered...all I could do was pray to God for help..
Whew.... God is good. Maybe it's just not my time yet and that I should be happy to be alive!!!
I've been watching too many Air Crash investigation episodes...........
It's Not a Game
I opened my yahoo account tonight. Looked through emails I have not read while at work. This email had been there for awhile now. It’s about this man…Warren Buffet.
I know that he is very rich, second to Bill Gates but what struck me most was that he did not have a cellphone and laptop with him ALL THE TIME….
I had this crazy thought… I know I haven’t read it somewhere. But technology makes us lazy and takes too much of our time. I will say “generally” as I know some might and will react violently to this remark.
This is not the only issue in the Warren Buffet article. I called Edman and Tommy so we could read it together.
Warren (wow, first name basis?!) started saving at the age 11. Actually, he bought his first share at that age. About the same age as Edman is now. My sons both have savings account. We opened it mid year last year. The money that they saved, we were able to use during our Hong Kong Disney trip. I asked them both to fill-up their withdrawal slips. Write down the amount and sign their names. They also have to fall in line with all the rest of the 20 or so bank clients… This was important because if they ever have the need to get from their savings, they realize the amount of time they put in just trying to withdraw!
Edman was groaning at most parts of the article. It hit him right on the spot. Warren Buffet said, “Don’t wear brand names…wear something you’re comfortable in” Remember my blog about his favorite shirt shop?? (Yesterday, there was a big sale at SM…but he went home with a long face)
I don’t know how I’ve raised him to be this brand-conscious… When I was a kid, I know that I have an insurmountable ____ of hand-me-downs… Now, we can commonly refer to as “Ukay”. I am proud of how my own parents raised me. I am worried though that I am failing now as a parent. Inasmuch as I want my children to be happy and comfortable, I cannot bear the consequences of it. I do not want them to be brats or lose money just as fast as they earned it!!
Tough job for parents, right? I am lucky that I am friends with some people who give me financially sound advice. Being a working mother..(you’ve probably heard this a thousand times…), my responsibilities are ?@%&?! Got to pay bills on time, work hard, make sacrifices…
Addie….take a deep long breath…and exhale slowly through the mouth. There.
One of Our Daily Bread readings is entitled “It’s Not A Game”…
“While material possessions, professional success, and personal victories are enjoyable, they last only for this life. Then they’re all left behind.”
How do I effectively teach this to my growing children…..Hmmm....
I know that he is very rich, second to Bill Gates but what struck me most was that he did not have a cellphone and laptop with him ALL THE TIME….
I had this crazy thought… I know I haven’t read it somewhere. But technology makes us lazy and takes too much of our time. I will say “generally” as I know some might and will react violently to this remark.
This is not the only issue in the Warren Buffet article. I called Edman and Tommy so we could read it together.
Warren (wow, first name basis?!) started saving at the age 11. Actually, he bought his first share at that age. About the same age as Edman is now. My sons both have savings account. We opened it mid year last year. The money that they saved, we were able to use during our Hong Kong Disney trip. I asked them both to fill-up their withdrawal slips. Write down the amount and sign their names. They also have to fall in line with all the rest of the 20 or so bank clients… This was important because if they ever have the need to get from their savings, they realize the amount of time they put in just trying to withdraw!
Edman was groaning at most parts of the article. It hit him right on the spot. Warren Buffet said, “Don’t wear brand names…wear something you’re comfortable in” Remember my blog about his favorite shirt shop?? (Yesterday, there was a big sale at SM…but he went home with a long face)
I don’t know how I’ve raised him to be this brand-conscious… When I was a kid, I know that I have an insurmountable ____ of hand-me-downs… Now, we can commonly refer to as “Ukay”. I am proud of how my own parents raised me. I am worried though that I am failing now as a parent. Inasmuch as I want my children to be happy and comfortable, I cannot bear the consequences of it. I do not want them to be brats or lose money just as fast as they earned it!!
Tough job for parents, right? I am lucky that I am friends with some people who give me financially sound advice. Being a working mother..(you’ve probably heard this a thousand times…), my responsibilities are ?@%&?! Got to pay bills on time, work hard, make sacrifices…
Addie….take a deep long breath…and exhale slowly through the mouth. There.
One of Our Daily Bread readings is entitled “It’s Not A Game”…
“While material possessions, professional success, and personal victories are enjoyable, they last only for this life. Then they’re all left behind.”
How do I effectively teach this to my growing children…..Hmmm....
A Teenager in the House
In two years, there is going to be a teenager in the house...
When I came home from work, playing loudly on the computer speakers was HOUSE music. I didn't know what the difference was with disco or pop, etc.
Mixed emotions. Excitement, anxiety, FEAR?! :)
My eldest son, Edman, turned 11 last month. Last night we were at SM and after the usual route of Toy Kingdom (where Tommy bought a new toy using the money he saved from his "baon"), Edman didn't stop reminding me to go to "OXYGEN"!!
It's an ADULT clothes' shop, by the way. He pointed out the shirt that he wanted to have. He made this speech that for the whole week he has saved P200 and now, he lacks P79 for him to be able to buy it. Talented, right? :) I gave him the amount, not immediately though. Haha!
Oh, I worry about their spending habits but the thing that I think most of is..."letting go".
I know that they are slowly slipping away from my grip...
Soon, they are not going to need me as much as they do now.
I remember I had this conversation with my older sister, Ate Baby. She also has two boys. Her youngest, Enzo, is finishing college and Nico, her eldest, is already working. She told me how difficult it was for her to put some distance to her boys, not worry too much where they were, what they were doing...how they would go back home safely. That there would come a time, that you would just be there, watching and ready to give them guidance, advice or support when they need it.
I realized that our role as parents have different phases. I will always have to keep in mind that I still have a few more years till that time comes.
Time flies but I am enjoying every bit of it as it does. With a silent prayer for the challenges coming my way, I walked with my arms both on each of my sons' shoulders.
They have grown. My babies... but babies no more.
When I came home from work, playing loudly on the computer speakers was HOUSE music. I didn't know what the difference was with disco or pop, etc.
Mixed emotions. Excitement, anxiety, FEAR?! :)
My eldest son, Edman, turned 11 last month. Last night we were at SM and after the usual route of Toy Kingdom (where Tommy bought a new toy using the money he saved from his "baon"), Edman didn't stop reminding me to go to "OXYGEN"!!
It's an ADULT clothes' shop, by the way. He pointed out the shirt that he wanted to have. He made this speech that for the whole week he has saved P200 and now, he lacks P79 for him to be able to buy it. Talented, right? :) I gave him the amount, not immediately though. Haha!
Oh, I worry about their spending habits but the thing that I think most of is..."letting go".
I know that they are slowly slipping away from my grip...
Soon, they are not going to need me as much as they do now.
I remember I had this conversation with my older sister, Ate Baby. She also has two boys. Her youngest, Enzo, is finishing college and Nico, her eldest, is already working. She told me how difficult it was for her to put some distance to her boys, not worry too much where they were, what they were doing...how they would go back home safely. That there would come a time, that you would just be there, watching and ready to give them guidance, advice or support when they need it.
I realized that our role as parents have different phases. I will always have to keep in mind that I still have a few more years till that time comes.
Time flies but I am enjoying every bit of it as it does. With a silent prayer for the challenges coming my way, I walked with my arms both on each of my sons' shoulders.
They have grown. My babies... but babies no more.
What Am I Doing Here??
Eversince I got here, my life has changed three hundred sixty-degrees! Compared to when I was in Davao and the long list of things-to-do, I am reduced to just being at home… No, I am not complaining. Not at all!
I have learned to "breathe" here. A few cars, no traffic(and no traffic lights?!), little pollution. I noticed that the air is a bit different here. As Gilbert my college classmate put it, "fresh morning air touched with the heady scent of cow…poo" Oh,I’m sorry. But it does smell that way some times. :)
I have learned to walk slowly. It is slow-paced and laid-back here. Mountains and fields are a particularly common view. And in the mornings, there are a number of different bird "chirpings" waking us up. Aside from the cows and chickens…:)
The evenings have their own chorus though..and there are some I can’t identify. They actually say that there is an old lady who emerges at night in a different form?!? Manang pointed her out to me one afternoon and how my hair raised to its end!! Really!! Hehe. Enough of that. Where was I….
What am I doing here? My answer, "search for a new life, the simple life" :) And survey says!
1.) It’s out of character
2.) I’m out of my head!
3.) What I did for love?! (Well yes, that’s true,too..hehe)
This is the first time I came to know the real meaning of "neighbor"…
One of our neighbors volunteered Buko for Tommy’s birthday. They have a farm and asked somebody to gather coconuts. There I saw 69 year-old Manang Nila on her knees happily scraping away its meat…and Judy,her niece, offered to bake the birthday cake!
One evening, when I thought I heard footsteps on the roof (it was only the boys and I then), I called our neighbor and within seconds,Judy’s husband was at the gate.
On my birthday, my newfound friends were also there to celebrate with me..
Have I said this already? I love this place! I have grown to love it and its people…I wish I would never have to leave…
Addie, Jan. 9, 2007, Ozamiz City
I have learned to "breathe" here. A few cars, no traffic(and no traffic lights?!), little pollution. I noticed that the air is a bit different here. As Gilbert my college classmate put it, "fresh morning air touched with the heady scent of cow…poo" Oh,I’m sorry. But it does smell that way some times. :)
I have learned to walk slowly. It is slow-paced and laid-back here. Mountains and fields are a particularly common view. And in the mornings, there are a number of different bird "chirpings" waking us up. Aside from the cows and chickens…:)
The evenings have their own chorus though..and there are some I can’t identify. They actually say that there is an old lady who emerges at night in a different form?!? Manang pointed her out to me one afternoon and how my hair raised to its end!! Really!! Hehe. Enough of that. Where was I….
What am I doing here? My answer, "search for a new life, the simple life" :) And survey says!
1.) It’s out of character
2.) I’m out of my head!
3.) What I did for love?! (Well yes, that’s true,too..hehe)
This is the first time I came to know the real meaning of "neighbor"…
One of our neighbors volunteered Buko for Tommy’s birthday. They have a farm and asked somebody to gather coconuts. There I saw 69 year-old Manang Nila on her knees happily scraping away its meat…and Judy,her niece, offered to bake the birthday cake!
One evening, when I thought I heard footsteps on the roof (it was only the boys and I then), I called our neighbor and within seconds,Judy’s husband was at the gate.
On my birthday, my newfound friends were also there to celebrate with me..
Have I said this already? I love this place! I have grown to love it and its people…I wish I would never have to leave…
Addie, Jan. 9, 2007, Ozamiz City
Nothing Beats High School
This year’s reunion was so much FUN!!! Okay, I just sounded like a kid, right?? It’s because I felt like one. I felt young having seen and talked to my best buddies in class. Embraced two of my teachers, Math and Science, I guess. Our Guidance counselor is still Guidance counselor up to this day!! She gave a small speech which left us all feeling in those days again.
Randy Quilos and I were part of the Steering Committee for Program. He was emcee for the night as he was last year. He asked me before the program started to co-host with him and I declined but guess what?! When he was up on the stage after the prayer and all, he said “I am only the co-host, let me call our host…” and he mentioned my name?! (I’ll get you for that one of these days, Rands!! )
We had a live band playing and yes, I sang one song! I prepared a slideshow of pictures during our High School days and it was shown when I sang. Pictures were courtesy of Rommel (Our Alumni President) and Pareng Glenda (Our VP) and of course, MOI.
But unfortunately, the laptop didn’t feel like showing all the pictures! I thought I could get people to watch the slideshow, distract them a little so I wouldn’t feel too conscious. Hehe! (Hirap pala maging artista??) HAHA!
The dancing didn’t start until later…maybe when they have already downed a few bottles of SML. (San Mig Light). The band did great! Ground Zero was the band’s name. Don’t ask me if I got their name right. I also had a few bottles myself!! But one of the most memorable moments that night was Jason’s rendition of “Salamat”. As I told him a day later, it was fitting for the occasion. I forgot the band who sang the song. Trixie said it was “The Dawn”? I guess every one who was there was singing along…Nice
Well, there are a number of moments…some irky (for those who were beside me all night would know what I’m talking about) some truly unforgettable. By the way, we had batch mates who sent their pledges and sponsored the reunion. They had the chance to view parts of the program through Web Cast. Is that what they call it?? (Omar, help me out here!) We had bingo, too! Who said this was only for the oldies?! Pattern was BLACKOUT, prize was a sack of rice! :)
Raz (BFF since we were 14), was treasurer and in-charge of beer sales (and a lot of other things) enjoyed herself a little later. I had to demand that she get up from her chair!! Again, I’ll say it, we had so much FUN!!!
Even Anna Rose Cervo did, too… I admire this woman for the strength and courage she has… When some of us live our lives without zest, Anna does it very differently. Cheers, Ann! Be assured of my prayers and my friendship…
Glendz and Rommel, you did a GREAT JOB, we all did!! Batchmates and classmates, looking forward to the next reunion!! 2010 or will there be one next year?? CAN’T WAIT!!!
Randy Quilos and I were part of the Steering Committee for Program. He was emcee for the night as he was last year. He asked me before the program started to co-host with him and I declined but guess what?! When he was up on the stage after the prayer and all, he said “I am only the co-host, let me call our host…” and he mentioned my name?! (I’ll get you for that one of these days, Rands!! )
We had a live band playing and yes, I sang one song! I prepared a slideshow of pictures during our High School days and it was shown when I sang. Pictures were courtesy of Rommel (Our Alumni President) and Pareng Glenda (Our VP) and of course, MOI.
But unfortunately, the laptop didn’t feel like showing all the pictures! I thought I could get people to watch the slideshow, distract them a little so I wouldn’t feel too conscious. Hehe! (Hirap pala maging artista??) HAHA!
The dancing didn’t start until later…maybe when they have already downed a few bottles of SML. (San Mig Light). The band did great! Ground Zero was the band’s name. Don’t ask me if I got their name right. I also had a few bottles myself!! But one of the most memorable moments that night was Jason’s rendition of “Salamat”. As I told him a day later, it was fitting for the occasion. I forgot the band who sang the song. Trixie said it was “The Dawn”? I guess every one who was there was singing along…Nice
Well, there are a number of moments…some irky (for those who were beside me all night would know what I’m talking about) some truly unforgettable. By the way, we had batch mates who sent their pledges and sponsored the reunion. They had the chance to view parts of the program through Web Cast. Is that what they call it?? (Omar, help me out here!) We had bingo, too! Who said this was only for the oldies?! Pattern was BLACKOUT, prize was a sack of rice! :)
Raz (BFF since we were 14), was treasurer and in-charge of beer sales (and a lot of other things) enjoyed herself a little later. I had to demand that she get up from her chair!! Again, I’ll say it, we had so much FUN!!!
Even Anna Rose Cervo did, too… I admire this woman for the strength and courage she has… When some of us live our lives without zest, Anna does it very differently. Cheers, Ann! Be assured of my prayers and my friendship…
Glendz and Rommel, you did a GREAT JOB, we all did!! Batchmates and classmates, looking forward to the next reunion!! 2010 or will there be one next year?? CAN’T WAIT!!!
A Bottle with Papa
Told my officemates that I would be going home early..and early would mean 6pm even if 5:30 was our off-hours..and why? I answered, I would be drinking a bottle of beer or two with my father. :)
A little late for a father’s day tribute but it will still do..my father has turned 84 last April 7. We happily celebrate each and every year that God has given him..these are bonus years as they would say. And I would like as much as possible to spend that limited time with him.
My father was 50 when my mother had me. But THAT would be a very long story. Next time, maybe..:)
Growing up with an almost absentee father. My father grew up with a father who had been Judge of the First Instance to three provinces and had also been governor in Batangas.(I am proud to be one of his granchildren. :) ) He lost Lolo at seven years old,I guess. Even without a role model, my father has been the best father to me…
I was 13 years old when I asked him to help me prepare a speech in class. Something about my most admired person. I wrote the words down as he said it. He said it was Atty. Pedro someone. I don’t remember the last name. I memorized two yellow pages of the speech. Delivered it in class with the appreciation of my teacher and all..but little did I know…I was relating the story of my papa…
Atty. Pedro, was my father.. Atty. Manuel L. Borbon was Atty. Pedro..boy, was I so stupid?! :)
He is so kind and humble. Our driver’s son calls him lolo. Our driver’s wife,Tata, calls him Tatay..
At 16, when I tried to run away from home because my mom and I fought, he let me…because I told him where I was going…:)
At 17, when i came home late (and that was 7 pm) he waited by the gate and talked to Arnold (my boyfriend then later my ex-hubby and father of my kids) about taking care of me and things I would never find out about. Men talk…
At 23, he didn’t stop me from marrying Arnold and dutifully brought me to the aisle…
At the end of my marriage, he listened and protected me from the effects of it…he still waited by the gate…with me having had a drink or two..
Even now, as I have gotten over such events. I am still with my papa…not because of the sad life that I had but for the present that I now have…still beside him…happily having a bottle of beer or two…:)
- Addie, Davao City, June 22, '07
A little late for a father’s day tribute but it will still do..my father has turned 84 last April 7. We happily celebrate each and every year that God has given him..these are bonus years as they would say. And I would like as much as possible to spend that limited time with him.
My father was 50 when my mother had me. But THAT would be a very long story. Next time, maybe..:)
Growing up with an almost absentee father. My father grew up with a father who had been Judge of the First Instance to three provinces and had also been governor in Batangas.(I am proud to be one of his granchildren. :) ) He lost Lolo at seven years old,I guess. Even without a role model, my father has been the best father to me…
I was 13 years old when I asked him to help me prepare a speech in class. Something about my most admired person. I wrote the words down as he said it. He said it was Atty. Pedro someone. I don’t remember the last name. I memorized two yellow pages of the speech. Delivered it in class with the appreciation of my teacher and all..but little did I know…I was relating the story of my papa…
Atty. Pedro, was my father.. Atty. Manuel L. Borbon was Atty. Pedro..boy, was I so stupid?! :)
He is so kind and humble. Our driver’s son calls him lolo. Our driver’s wife,Tata, calls him Tatay..
At 16, when I tried to run away from home because my mom and I fought, he let me…because I told him where I was going…:)
At 17, when i came home late (and that was 7 pm) he waited by the gate and talked to Arnold (my boyfriend then later my ex-hubby and father of my kids) about taking care of me and things I would never find out about. Men talk…
At 23, he didn’t stop me from marrying Arnold and dutifully brought me to the aisle…
At the end of my marriage, he listened and protected me from the effects of it…he still waited by the gate…with me having had a drink or two..
Even now, as I have gotten over such events. I am still with my papa…not because of the sad life that I had but for the present that I now have…still beside him…happily having a bottle of beer or two…:)
- Addie, Davao City, June 22, '07
Sun, Sand, Sea and a Fairy Tale Wedding
Malipano Island was just picturesque…tagging along my bodyguards, Edman and Tommy after an hour-long boat-ride.
This was the first wedding by the beach I’ve attended. The wind blowing, the coconut trees swaying with it…There by the villa’s terrace was the bride..my friend and college schoolmate, Merlyn. Posing in her beautiful white wedding dress, her veil flowing by the rail..photographer and cameramen below, shouting out instructions.. Lovely bride. They say that all brides look more lovely and radiant on their wedding day. It is really true.
As we walked on, there was a long red carpet leading to the chapel made of Bamboo. Kallalilies everywhere. What was surprising was, it was like we were in another place. Foreigners, most probably Merlyn’s groom’s family. People from all over the world, as I would say. Belgium, Vietnam, Hongkong…
With prophetic and angelic voices, the St. Francis of Assisi choir began their opening hymn in Italian…it was a glorious day! After the Bride and Groom kissed, we were all asked to proceed to the Pavillion. They didn’t need to tell us where because the path was all lined by colorful flowers on the grass…
Upon reaching it, my sons all rushed to another first, a Chocolate Fountain!! It was like a dream. The setting, the ambiance…live violin music playing…the sound of the waves…the wind…flowers everywhere…
I knew it wouldn’t be long before I shed another tear..it was time for the Dad and the daughter dance where I saw Merlyn cry…there I was, crying again (Weddings do this to me..I hate it). As if that wasn’t enough, while the newly weds danced their first, big, colorful butterflies were set free!! What an amazing sight…
A grandeous and lovely wedding it was.
My boys and I missed our boat ride at two, they didn’t mind it because they had a little extra time to look for hermit crabs on the sand. At four, our boat arrived and within seconds of sitting down, my two bodyguards, slowly lay down on each of my lap. Stretched out on the bench and snored to sleep..
I’m glad I brought them with me…to this sun, sand, sea and fairy tale wedding.
Thanks for inviting us, Merlyn and Koen…a long and happy marriage to both of you!!
This was the first wedding by the beach I’ve attended. The wind blowing, the coconut trees swaying with it…There by the villa’s terrace was the bride..my friend and college schoolmate, Merlyn. Posing in her beautiful white wedding dress, her veil flowing by the rail..photographer and cameramen below, shouting out instructions.. Lovely bride. They say that all brides look more lovely and radiant on their wedding day. It is really true.
As we walked on, there was a long red carpet leading to the chapel made of Bamboo. Kallalilies everywhere. What was surprising was, it was like we were in another place. Foreigners, most probably Merlyn’s groom’s family. People from all over the world, as I would say. Belgium, Vietnam, Hongkong…
With prophetic and angelic voices, the St. Francis of Assisi choir began their opening hymn in Italian…it was a glorious day! After the Bride and Groom kissed, we were all asked to proceed to the Pavillion. They didn’t need to tell us where because the path was all lined by colorful flowers on the grass…
Upon reaching it, my sons all rushed to another first, a Chocolate Fountain!! It was like a dream. The setting, the ambiance…live violin music playing…the sound of the waves…the wind…flowers everywhere…
I knew it wouldn’t be long before I shed another tear..it was time for the Dad and the daughter dance where I saw Merlyn cry…there I was, crying again (Weddings do this to me..I hate it). As if that wasn’t enough, while the newly weds danced their first, big, colorful butterflies were set free!! What an amazing sight…
A grandeous and lovely wedding it was.
My boys and I missed our boat ride at two, they didn’t mind it because they had a little extra time to look for hermit crabs on the sand. At four, our boat arrived and within seconds of sitting down, my two bodyguards, slowly lay down on each of my lap. Stretched out on the bench and snored to sleep..
I’m glad I brought them with me…to this sun, sand, sea and fairy tale wedding.
Thanks for inviting us, Merlyn and Koen…a long and happy marriage to both of you!!
Everyday is Mother's Day
I’ve been receiving text greetings since 7 this morning and I’ve been sending replies eversince I woke up which was at 9? :) Lazy day.
There is really not much difference today being Mother’s Day. I just realize that there is this day, to remind us mothers to STOP, pat ourselves on the back and say,"Hey, ME, I’ve been doing a great job!!":)
I have been depressed lately.. working hard at work, trying my best to be a mother to my growing boys, looking for my place in the world. I pray. I try to talk to God about it. It just seems that the world is quite heavy on my shoulders.
Being a mom IS tough. I scolded my eldest at the table this morning because he wouldn’t let his younger brother borrow his Simpson’s digest. (I know, this was Eide’s doing. I’m not really into Simpson’s). I told them that it was still early in the morning and I’ve already begun "refereeing". I explained to Edman that he must learn not to be selfish to his little brother. He can do it to his friends why not to Tommy? Sometimes, I run out of reasons and explanations.
Edman is a good, thoughtful and sensitive little man. He has gift-wrapped his three gifts with coupon bond. He gave me these way in advance! He also asked for money yesterday (the money that I owe him) for him to buy me a gift at GMall. I told him that his gifts were more than enough already…
His gifts? Note pads with holes he made himself with a puncher and bound together with a purple yarn. The pads were in three different sizes. He named the pad "TEK notes". T for Tommy, E for Edman and K for Kyle (their cousin). I couldn’t stop smiling.
Tommy, with not a care in the world, held up his hands to my shoulders, kissed me then greeted me a Happy Mother’s Day. :) while reminding me that he really liked the Set of 3 Naruto action figures in GMall…sigh. :)
We may feel low but our children gives us reason to pick ourselves up…When I’m weak, I tell myself I have to be strong. I don’t want my kids to see me cry…I don’t want them to worry about me.
I know I have a lot of things to be grateful for. (and I’m sorry,Lord, that I don’t see it at times..) Please give us strength to endure all trials, continue to look beyond ourselves, to be the best that we can be in all the roles that we have in this life….especially that of being a mother. Amen.
For me, every day is mother’s day. :) Happy Mother’s Day, moms!!
Addie, Davao City, May 10, 2008
There is really not much difference today being Mother’s Day. I just realize that there is this day, to remind us mothers to STOP, pat ourselves on the back and say,"Hey, ME, I’ve been doing a great job!!":)
I have been depressed lately.. working hard at work, trying my best to be a mother to my growing boys, looking for my place in the world. I pray. I try to talk to God about it. It just seems that the world is quite heavy on my shoulders.
Being a mom IS tough. I scolded my eldest at the table this morning because he wouldn’t let his younger brother borrow his Simpson’s digest. (I know, this was Eide’s doing. I’m not really into Simpson’s). I told them that it was still early in the morning and I’ve already begun "refereeing". I explained to Edman that he must learn not to be selfish to his little brother. He can do it to his friends why not to Tommy? Sometimes, I run out of reasons and explanations.
Edman is a good, thoughtful and sensitive little man. He has gift-wrapped his three gifts with coupon bond. He gave me these way in advance! He also asked for money yesterday (the money that I owe him) for him to buy me a gift at GMall. I told him that his gifts were more than enough already…
His gifts? Note pads with holes he made himself with a puncher and bound together with a purple yarn. The pads were in three different sizes. He named the pad "TEK notes". T for Tommy, E for Edman and K for Kyle (their cousin). I couldn’t stop smiling.
Tommy, with not a care in the world, held up his hands to my shoulders, kissed me then greeted me a Happy Mother’s Day. :) while reminding me that he really liked the Set of 3 Naruto action figures in GMall…sigh. :)
We may feel low but our children gives us reason to pick ourselves up…When I’m weak, I tell myself I have to be strong. I don’t want my kids to see me cry…I don’t want them to worry about me.
I know I have a lot of things to be grateful for. (and I’m sorry,Lord, that I don’t see it at times..) Please give us strength to endure all trials, continue to look beyond ourselves, to be the best that we can be in all the roles that we have in this life….especially that of being a mother. Amen.
For me, every day is mother’s day. :) Happy Mother’s Day, moms!!
Addie, Davao City, May 10, 2008
Twas a Long Day
I came home at 11:30 tonight…I know. It is not like me… I had reason.
My teammates from North arrived at 5am this morning. They had to attend a survey which was being done once a year. It was a tough day for me. Early today, I had an argument with a loved-one. I missed our morning prayer because I had to change my attire!! It took me awhile to find the right outfit to go with the new necklace I bought at the DAVCON Bazaar.(I just really love it!! The maker told me I had the ONLY piece).
I came to the office having to go through the day in a rush. I was on leave for 3 days…We went to Boracay.:) Before that, I was on a week-long training in Cebu where we witnessed a cyclone at signal no. 2!! Billboards crashing, tarpaulines tearing, motorcycles flying…No exageration!! While the storm was brewing, our trainor, who had prior knowledge of the storm forecast, still continued his chapter!!!!!! In my mind, I wondered what would happen if pieces of steel from structures came crashing through our glass at the 8th floor?!
Anyway, where was I? Oh, I came home at 11:30..YES. I went to my teammates’ hotel on the same street as my house. Brought them something to drink…Okay, it wasn’t water…:) So, one had to go to sleep ahead….while we were still up and talking and laughing….
It was a long day. Forgot to mention. This afternoon, being managers, we were asked to step out so that our people will be able to comfortably give feedback about our management…which was to me, a little discomforting. Twas my first time. :) I had to go home at 6:30 for an appointment (pahilot!) then I even have to join our heads of some departments from Manila for dinner……..aaarrrrgggh…. So before 8pm, I went to the dinner venue. Chatted then went back to the hotel on my street…. It was fun! We had a very good time LAUGHING at the smallest things….of course a little intoxication did that.. I said a little because if it were more, I wouldn’t be able to write this blog now…HAHAHA!:) (I'm not an alchoholic!!)
But I’m really writing this now because of one word…..it was the word I heard from my half-asleep son when I arrived home… I bent down and whispered in his ear, "Mama’s here"….paused….said it again. "Mama’s here"….. then I heard him say the word with his eyes closed……"Finally…"
It was a long day…………….my sons were waiting for me….
Addie, Dec. 4, 2007 Davao City
My teammates from North arrived at 5am this morning. They had to attend a survey which was being done once a year. It was a tough day for me. Early today, I had an argument with a loved-one. I missed our morning prayer because I had to change my attire!! It took me awhile to find the right outfit to go with the new necklace I bought at the DAVCON Bazaar.(I just really love it!! The maker told me I had the ONLY piece).
I came to the office having to go through the day in a rush. I was on leave for 3 days…We went to Boracay.:) Before that, I was on a week-long training in Cebu where we witnessed a cyclone at signal no. 2!! Billboards crashing, tarpaulines tearing, motorcycles flying…No exageration!! While the storm was brewing, our trainor, who had prior knowledge of the storm forecast, still continued his chapter!!!!!! In my mind, I wondered what would happen if pieces of steel from structures came crashing through our glass at the 8th floor?!
Anyway, where was I? Oh, I came home at 11:30..YES. I went to my teammates’ hotel on the same street as my house. Brought them something to drink…Okay, it wasn’t water…:) So, one had to go to sleep ahead….while we were still up and talking and laughing….
It was a long day. Forgot to mention. This afternoon, being managers, we were asked to step out so that our people will be able to comfortably give feedback about our management…which was to me, a little discomforting. Twas my first time. :) I had to go home at 6:30 for an appointment (pahilot!) then I even have to join our heads of some departments from Manila for dinner……..aaarrrrgggh…. So before 8pm, I went to the dinner venue. Chatted then went back to the hotel on my street…. It was fun! We had a very good time LAUGHING at the smallest things….of course a little intoxication did that.. I said a little because if it were more, I wouldn’t be able to write this blog now…HAHAHA!:) (I'm not an alchoholic!!)
But I’m really writing this now because of one word…..it was the word I heard from my half-asleep son when I arrived home… I bent down and whispered in his ear, "Mama’s here"….paused….said it again. "Mama’s here"….. then I heard him say the word with his eyes closed……"Finally…"
It was a long day…………….my sons were waiting for me….
Addie, Dec. 4, 2007 Davao City
Manila and Taxi Drivers
I am such a probinsyana at heart…and I’m not at all ashamed to declare that.
I am in Manila and earlier, I rode a taxi and the driver swore he doesn’t know where my destination was..I mentioned all the landmark I could imagine just to give him an idea where it was…That was almost always the case here. Of course I don’t want to generalize but I can’t help it. Was it my outfit? :) Or my intonation that gave me away? Tag-Bis, in short (Tagalog-Bisaya). Hehe. Or maybe it’s just "the way" here. Two or three months ago, I was also here on a 3-week training. So by then, I knew my way. From the hotel to the office and back. I even had to ask my brother upon my arrival which streets to take and how to get there. He’s been living here since he was 19.
So one afternoon, I hailed a taxi. Told him what route to take. The driver told me that he couldn’t possibly go that way because it was "one-way" only. I said that it wasn’t so and that I take the route everyday. He insisted that it was and said in a higher tone that there were scheduled days or something. Then finally said he wasn’t going to argue with me. I replied with,"you can drop me off on that corner, please. Upon hearing that, he immediately said we can try going my way.
Nearing my hotel, it was obvious he realized it wasn’t a one-way street as I said…
Another incident was a few years ago,rode a taxi from Libis. Mentioned where I was headed, ended up with my head spinning..because we WERE going around in circles. Inside a village, I believe. Back then, I didn’t have the guts to argue because I didn’t know how to get to where I was going. I kept mum and just endured being dizzy…….:)
Now, am I being paranoid or it is true that most drivers here really do take advantage of local tourists?
I do hate it when that happens. So this afternoon, I didn’t want to argue with the driver again so I got off the taxi this time, tried to make a visual map of where I was going and….WALKED.
Have to remind myself to bring flat shoes next time around…:)
Addie, Oct. 20, 2007, Manila
I am in Manila and earlier, I rode a taxi and the driver swore he doesn’t know where my destination was..I mentioned all the landmark I could imagine just to give him an idea where it was…That was almost always the case here. Of course I don’t want to generalize but I can’t help it. Was it my outfit? :) Or my intonation that gave me away? Tag-Bis, in short (Tagalog-Bisaya). Hehe. Or maybe it’s just "the way" here. Two or three months ago, I was also here on a 3-week training. So by then, I knew my way. From the hotel to the office and back. I even had to ask my brother upon my arrival which streets to take and how to get there. He’s been living here since he was 19.
So one afternoon, I hailed a taxi. Told him what route to take. The driver told me that he couldn’t possibly go that way because it was "one-way" only. I said that it wasn’t so and that I take the route everyday. He insisted that it was and said in a higher tone that there were scheduled days or something. Then finally said he wasn’t going to argue with me. I replied with,"you can drop me off on that corner, please. Upon hearing that, he immediately said we can try going my way.
Nearing my hotel, it was obvious he realized it wasn’t a one-way street as I said…
Another incident was a few years ago,rode a taxi from Libis. Mentioned where I was headed, ended up with my head spinning..because we WERE going around in circles. Inside a village, I believe. Back then, I didn’t have the guts to argue because I didn’t know how to get to where I was going. I kept mum and just endured being dizzy…….:)
Now, am I being paranoid or it is true that most drivers here really do take advantage of local tourists?
I do hate it when that happens. So this afternoon, I didn’t want to argue with the driver again so I got off the taxi this time, tried to make a visual map of where I was going and….WALKED.
Have to remind myself to bring flat shoes next time around…:)
Addie, Oct. 20, 2007, Manila
Birds and Freedom
After playing the whole afternoon, Tommy said he and his kuya were going to their room to take a nap. It was an unusual statement..I just let them be. Eide and I were watching in the other room and we wondered why it was too quiet.
When they were alone together, they would get into a fight in seconds! So curiousity got the better of me. Knocked and opened the door to their room. There on the bed…was a nest! With two tiny birds. Maya. So that’s why they weren’t interested in getting in each other’s nerves…:)
As I am writing this, I feel that one bird is looking at me.:) I know how fragile they are and that they wouldn’t survive. I told the boys last night.
They want to keep it. Edman has been dreaming and saving for lovebirds.
How do you explain that animals or birds should be free? When we have dogs tied, fishes in the aquarium,turtles in the pond...
What is it with birds that I feel that they should be free?? At breakfast, we explained to them that no matter how they tried to feed them, it wouldn’t be enough. Tommy even asked Manang to look for worms the moment he opened his eyes this morning…
They want to take care of them, I can see that. But after all the reasoning we did, Eide’s explanation stuck the most.
He asked, how would they feel if they were the birds and they were taken away from their mother and she was already looking for them…:) My boys fell silent.. kawawa naman…
We all agreed to let them go when they got back from school this afternoon. :)
Addie, March 20, 2007, Ozamiz City
When they were alone together, they would get into a fight in seconds! So curiousity got the better of me. Knocked and opened the door to their room. There on the bed…was a nest! With two tiny birds. Maya. So that’s why they weren’t interested in getting in each other’s nerves…:)
As I am writing this, I feel that one bird is looking at me.:) I know how fragile they are and that they wouldn’t survive. I told the boys last night.
They want to keep it. Edman has been dreaming and saving for lovebirds.
How do you explain that animals or birds should be free? When we have dogs tied, fishes in the aquarium,turtles in the pond...
What is it with birds that I feel that they should be free?? At breakfast, we explained to them that no matter how they tried to feed them, it wouldn’t be enough. Tommy even asked Manang to look for worms the moment he opened his eyes this morning…
They want to take care of them, I can see that. But after all the reasoning we did, Eide’s explanation stuck the most.
He asked, how would they feel if they were the birds and they were taken away from their mother and she was already looking for them…:) My boys fell silent.. kawawa naman…
We all agreed to let them go when they got back from school this afternoon. :)
Addie, March 20, 2007, Ozamiz City
It's Your Choice
You can’t please everyone and not everybody wants to be friendly…It is a fact. We truly live in a cynical world.
I don’t know why it has to bother me when some persons think differently of me. Why indeed would one person’s judgment and behavior really matter?
My friend said that one of her friends said this and that about this and that…
I told her, why should it matter to you what they say? Or what they say about other people? Shouldn’t they need to be more involved with their own lives? Or with what they do and how it’s affecting the people around them?
Shouldn’t we be thinking more if we are doing something with ourselves? Or something good for others? Rather than spending countless hours bickering about what this person did with her life, her hair, what she wore, what brand, how she’s spending…
I don’t know. What satisfaction does it give us when we know that we have put a person down? It is so easy for us to utter things knowing that the person is not around and would not be able to hear, much less defend herself.
But I told my friend, there is no explaining to be done.. You owe your explanation to God alone. We sometimes don’t even explain to our parents, our loved-ones..
God has given us a free will. If we choose not to do good then it is our choice. But then we would have to answer to that sooner or later. We are responsible for what we do or say. We cannot put the blame on anyone and say they made us do it, because we have a CHOICE!
It is also easy to say that the persons who judge or criticize have some problems of their own but yes, we would also be like them, "judging" them…If your friends encourage you to be just that, then it’s time to think if they are really your friends. Because I believe that friends should encourage you to be a better person and not otherwise..
So what do we do? Be kind. Words CAN hurt but depending on the one who says it. Value the words of the persons who matter to you. People who know you and only mean well..the rest are just part of this fallen world who constantly want to drag us along with it.
But we won’t let them, because? WE HAVE A CHOICE.:)
Addie, March 5, 2007, Ozamiz City
I don’t know why it has to bother me when some persons think differently of me. Why indeed would one person’s judgment and behavior really matter?
My friend said that one of her friends said this and that about this and that…
I told her, why should it matter to you what they say? Or what they say about other people? Shouldn’t they need to be more involved with their own lives? Or with what they do and how it’s affecting the people around them?
Shouldn’t we be thinking more if we are doing something with ourselves? Or something good for others? Rather than spending countless hours bickering about what this person did with her life, her hair, what she wore, what brand, how she’s spending…
I don’t know. What satisfaction does it give us when we know that we have put a person down? It is so easy for us to utter things knowing that the person is not around and would not be able to hear, much less defend herself.
But I told my friend, there is no explaining to be done.. You owe your explanation to God alone. We sometimes don’t even explain to our parents, our loved-ones..
God has given us a free will. If we choose not to do good then it is our choice. But then we would have to answer to that sooner or later. We are responsible for what we do or say. We cannot put the blame on anyone and say they made us do it, because we have a CHOICE!
It is also easy to say that the persons who judge or criticize have some problems of their own but yes, we would also be like them, "judging" them…If your friends encourage you to be just that, then it’s time to think if they are really your friends. Because I believe that friends should encourage you to be a better person and not otherwise..
So what do we do? Be kind. Words CAN hurt but depending on the one who says it. Value the words of the persons who matter to you. People who know you and only mean well..the rest are just part of this fallen world who constantly want to drag us along with it.
But we won’t let them, because? WE HAVE A CHOICE.:)
Addie, March 5, 2007, Ozamiz City
Far Away
It’s not Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s movie…it is my movie! That’s right.:) It’s the first time in my entire life to be away from home. I’m sorry if it sounds childish. But i have lived with and beside my parents till May 30,2006.
I am now living with my fiance,funny I should call him that. It’s like i’ve run out of words to appropriately describe our set-up. Call me old-fashioned but I would still want to be married (even for a secondth time…hahaha!).
My kids? They couldn’t imagine living in a place where there are no playgrounds,only 2 malls to go to,no Discovery City,no "a lot of other things"…"Mama,why are we here?!" Ofcourse I prepared them for this. It took months to mentally,emotionally do that. I even included the 9 hour long ride……But they’re happy… now that they are allowed to go beyond the gate…to the neighbors. :)
Before we moved,most of my friends,officemates,try their hardest to convince me to stay. But not my family. I guess they know deep inside that it will all turn out well. Me and my children finding our nook…with this person beside me,my family,friends…and God. Who had always been with me in my especially low and dark moments. I couldn’t have gone through it all without Him. And He has never been… far away.(Even if I am…)
Addie, Nov. 6, 2006, Ozamiz City
I am now living with my fiance,funny I should call him that. It’s like i’ve run out of words to appropriately describe our set-up. Call me old-fashioned but I would still want to be married (even for a secondth time…hahaha!).
My kids? They couldn’t imagine living in a place where there are no playgrounds,only 2 malls to go to,no Discovery City,no "a lot of other things"…"Mama,why are we here?!" Ofcourse I prepared them for this. It took months to mentally,emotionally do that. I even included the 9 hour long ride……But they’re happy… now that they are allowed to go beyond the gate…to the neighbors. :)
Before we moved,most of my friends,officemates,try their hardest to convince me to stay. But not my family. I guess they know deep inside that it will all turn out well. Me and my children finding our nook…with this person beside me,my family,friends…and God. Who had always been with me in my especially low and dark moments. I couldn’t have gone through it all without Him. And He has never been… far away.(Even if I am…)
Addie, Nov. 6, 2006, Ozamiz City
Oz Girl
That’s how my friend,Jean,calls me now…:) Oz for Ozamiz, Misamis Occidental. It’s exhirilating being and living in a new place. The people,the environment,the culture…everything is invigorating. But nothing beats the feeling of trying out something you’ve never done before. Like putting up your OWN business! It’s really small. For the masses.(Not to sound condescending in any way). I love it. Not too much capital, not too many risks. It’s just right.
My stayout helper,Manang Lita,is my "ra-ra" person here. When I’m not doing anything at home, she reminds me. "What about that business,Ma’am?" Oh,yes! Then I return to action.
Right now,I have just finished brainstorming with her at the dining table. We are going to sell cart-food. I have absolutely no idea how to start but "small steps at a time" as my eldest son would say. Ofcourse, those are my own words echoing to me…
I believe that for a new place to welcome you, you must also welcome and love it with all your heart. And I do, I am an official Ozgirl. :)
Addie, Nov. 9, 2006, Ozamiz City
My stayout helper,Manang Lita,is my "ra-ra" person here. When I’m not doing anything at home, she reminds me. "What about that business,Ma’am?" Oh,yes! Then I return to action.
Right now,I have just finished brainstorming with her at the dining table. We are going to sell cart-food. I have absolutely no idea how to start but "small steps at a time" as my eldest son would say. Ofcourse, those are my own words echoing to me…
I believe that for a new place to welcome you, you must also welcome and love it with all your heart. And I do, I am an official Ozgirl. :)
Addie, Nov. 9, 2006, Ozamiz City
Death and Living
It’s been a long time since I last wrote a blog…I find it strange typing in words that are not related to work or an email for encouragement to my team…(production! production!!) :) Maybe next time I should consider how they feel upon receiving my emails?? Haha! I’m sure they have gotten used to it already.
A number of things have happened these past months that sitting down and writing about them seem so much. Sometimes, I have all these thoughts in my head that keep me up past midnight. No, I don’ think I need a straight-jacket just yet. How hilarious it would be if one day, men in white would be charging up to my office with that jacket, noh?!
A few days ago, my Tito Dodong (close family friend) who lives in the neighborhood, died. He was a Capt.He was papa’s closest drinking buddy. He was 65 years old. He was exhausted climbing the 7-story ship that his heart just gave way… We all didn’t think he would die that way because he was diabetic and just recuperated from an operation. Diabetics, of course, have a least chance of surviving after an operation but Tito did! What fighting spirit! So, his death was unexpected.. We heard he was about to retire later this year.. we cried buckets… We will miss him. He made us all laugh and I have a special memory of him doing the "fan dance" in one of our gatherings at home. I was maybe seven then.
I don’t know why deaths affect me. When I was 22, I read the book , "Embraced by the Light". It was about an NDE (Near Death Experience) which altogether changed the way I see death….and life. My papa’s only brother died when I was 15, we were very close to him. I didn’t think my father could take his death, but he did after awhile. My Tito Dodong’s death however, papa was only able to go the mass but not when Tito’s body was being transported to the memorial. He was clearly affected. I was afraid that he was thinking also of his death…..
Papa turned 85 this year and he has been talking about his funeral preferences…. even as I was so open to my own death, I could not stand hearing him talk about his own. I JUST CAN’T. Even the thought of it now…….
My Ate tells me to reconcile whatever I have to with papa so I can be prepared. But what would I need to reconcile…whatever it was that my father did that hurt me or something, I have forgotten. I know that he only meant well for his children.
Tito Dodong’s son, Em-em gave his eulogy so beautifully, it gave the honor that Tito Dodong deserved…. we couldn’t stop crying. I guess, that was the time papa got so affected. I thought about papa’s eulogy. I tell myself now,I wouldn’t be able to do it. I have done a eulogy for my best friend in college, Aida. The words I delivered then weren’t even audible because I was crying and trying to fight back tears so how CAN I do that for my own father……….
Makes us all think of the time we have left. I think of my children. As an adolescent, I always thought I would not live as long as most people. I thought of dying young. I have even paid up for my own memorial lot. I am saving up for my memorial service now. Morbid? Strange? It is but I do think of it. BUT now, I ask God not to take me so soon. Not yet. I would like to see how it feels like to have my own grandchildren. :) I would like to be able to witness what my sons would be like when they are all grown. If Edman would really buy me that mansion with 19 servants…He said this while we were in the car traveling back to Davao :) He asked me if I wanted it to be in a mountain or in front of the ocean. And if I chose the mountain, he would have me airlifted. Helicopter?! :) And as for Tommy, whose got the politician’s blood in him,said that he would stroll me along Victoria Plaza on a wheelchair when I’m old and not able to walk. Then he would buy me ice cream and dresses and….more. :)
I think about all the reasons why I should continue living, I pray that I could focus on what’s important in my life. It is not what I’ve achieved, my stature, my financial capacity, it doesn’t even come close to that. It has become an old adage or cliche. "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also".
So even as I think about death, I also think of living…long enough to enjoy God’s gifts to me here in this life.
-Addie, Davao City,Aug.'08
A number of things have happened these past months that sitting down and writing about them seem so much. Sometimes, I have all these thoughts in my head that keep me up past midnight. No, I don’ think I need a straight-jacket just yet. How hilarious it would be if one day, men in white would be charging up to my office with that jacket, noh?!
A few days ago, my Tito Dodong (close family friend) who lives in the neighborhood, died. He was a Capt.He was papa’s closest drinking buddy. He was 65 years old. He was exhausted climbing the 7-story ship that his heart just gave way… We all didn’t think he would die that way because he was diabetic and just recuperated from an operation. Diabetics, of course, have a least chance of surviving after an operation but Tito did! What fighting spirit! So, his death was unexpected.. We heard he was about to retire later this year.. we cried buckets… We will miss him. He made us all laugh and I have a special memory of him doing the "fan dance" in one of our gatherings at home. I was maybe seven then.
I don’t know why deaths affect me. When I was 22, I read the book , "Embraced by the Light". It was about an NDE (Near Death Experience) which altogether changed the way I see death….and life. My papa’s only brother died when I was 15, we were very close to him. I didn’t think my father could take his death, but he did after awhile. My Tito Dodong’s death however, papa was only able to go the mass but not when Tito’s body was being transported to the memorial. He was clearly affected. I was afraid that he was thinking also of his death…..
Papa turned 85 this year and he has been talking about his funeral preferences…. even as I was so open to my own death, I could not stand hearing him talk about his own. I JUST CAN’T. Even the thought of it now…….
My Ate tells me to reconcile whatever I have to with papa so I can be prepared. But what would I need to reconcile…whatever it was that my father did that hurt me or something, I have forgotten. I know that he only meant well for his children.
Tito Dodong’s son, Em-em gave his eulogy so beautifully, it gave the honor that Tito Dodong deserved…. we couldn’t stop crying. I guess, that was the time papa got so affected. I thought about papa’s eulogy. I tell myself now,I wouldn’t be able to do it. I have done a eulogy for my best friend in college, Aida. The words I delivered then weren’t even audible because I was crying and trying to fight back tears so how CAN I do that for my own father……….
Makes us all think of the time we have left. I think of my children. As an adolescent, I always thought I would not live as long as most people. I thought of dying young. I have even paid up for my own memorial lot. I am saving up for my memorial service now. Morbid? Strange? It is but I do think of it. BUT now, I ask God not to take me so soon. Not yet. I would like to see how it feels like to have my own grandchildren. :) I would like to be able to witness what my sons would be like when they are all grown. If Edman would really buy me that mansion with 19 servants…He said this while we were in the car traveling back to Davao :) He asked me if I wanted it to be in a mountain or in front of the ocean. And if I chose the mountain, he would have me airlifted. Helicopter?! :) And as for Tommy, whose got the politician’s blood in him,said that he would stroll me along Victoria Plaza on a wheelchair when I’m old and not able to walk. Then he would buy me ice cream and dresses and….more. :)
I think about all the reasons why I should continue living, I pray that I could focus on what’s important in my life. It is not what I’ve achieved, my stature, my financial capacity, it doesn’t even come close to that. It has become an old adage or cliche. "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also".
So even as I think about death, I also think of living…long enough to enjoy God’s gifts to me here in this life.
-Addie, Davao City,Aug.'08
Sybil
I saw her a few months ago in Davao. I thought there was something different about her. She wasn't her usual vibrant,enthusiastic self. Told myself maybe she had some things on her mind or that she was distracted because there were some people with her. If only I had known that in the next few months she was going to die.....
I would have made an effort to get in touch with her...tried to get to know her some more...but all that is really futile now. And it's usually in the end that we have those regrets. She died Saturday. I just learned last night. Cancer...they found out too late. She was my age...
It's so coincidental that my son would say,as we were driving home from school,"Ma,I hope you will live longer..I'm still 8 and you're already 33..." It may be funny but REAL. He is talking about something that is certain. Death is certain. But time is not...just like Sibyl's..
Sibyl..I hope you're happy now where you are. Send our love to our Creator. Tell HIM to grant us wisdom to know that our life here on earth is indeed short and that we should spend it with LOVE....
I would have made an effort to get in touch with her...tried to get to know her some more...but all that is really futile now. And it's usually in the end that we have those regrets. She died Saturday. I just learned last night. Cancer...they found out too late. She was my age...
It's so coincidental that my son would say,as we were driving home from school,"Ma,I hope you will live longer..I'm still 8 and you're already 33..." It may be funny but REAL. He is talking about something that is certain. Death is certain. But time is not...just like Sibyl's..
Sibyl..I hope you're happy now where you are. Send our love to our Creator. Tell HIM to grant us wisdom to know that our life here on earth is indeed short and that we should spend it with LOVE....
Happy Beginnings not Endings
Just came from a wedding where I was Candle sponsor. It is a special wedding because I was, you might say, one of the culprits. :) I was even introduced that way..hehe.
Yes, I, together with some of my former officemates, were instrumental in the couples' getting married...
I don't know if it's age (again) but a lot about weddings make me teary-eyed. It's a female thing, I guess.. but then again maybe not.
After what has happened to my marriage, I can't help but be sad for me and yet at the same time, happy for my friend who's taking the road I took not so long ago..
Oh,I know theirs wouldn't be as tumultous as mine was but I know that they'd go through some rough times, too. It is natural. Marriages are not made in heaven. We live on earth where anything can and will happen if you allow it.
I am happy for both my friends. I can see they are so much in love. Hand in hand. The priest asked them kindly to look into each others' eyes while they recite their marriage vows. Romantic...:)
I could always choose to be cynical about love and romance after all I've been through but I didn't. I choose to believe that there are still second chances, that there is still hope for true love, no matter how surreal it may seem.
Here's to happy beginnings, Bec-bec & Pareng Jules!!!
- Addie, May 5, '07
Yes, I, together with some of my former officemates, were instrumental in the couples' getting married...
I don't know if it's age (again) but a lot about weddings make me teary-eyed. It's a female thing, I guess.. but then again maybe not.
After what has happened to my marriage, I can't help but be sad for me and yet at the same time, happy for my friend who's taking the road I took not so long ago..
Oh,I know theirs wouldn't be as tumultous as mine was but I know that they'd go through some rough times, too. It is natural. Marriages are not made in heaven. We live on earth where anything can and will happen if you allow it.
I am happy for both my friends. I can see they are so much in love. Hand in hand. The priest asked them kindly to look into each others' eyes while they recite their marriage vows. Romantic...:)
I could always choose to be cynical about love and romance after all I've been through but I didn't. I choose to believe that there are still second chances, that there is still hope for true love, no matter how surreal it may seem.
Here's to happy beginnings, Bec-bec & Pareng Jules!!!
- Addie, May 5, '07
Gold Bracelet (More than Gold and Valentine's)
A few weeks ago,we were at a shopping mart when Edman pulled me to a glass showcase full of gold and silver jewelry. He wanted me to choose something from there. He was saying for weeks that he would buy me something that I liked and that I always say no.
This time, he brought with him his wallet with the money that he had saved during the holidays, monetary gifts from Ninangs and Aunts,his "baon" that he sets aside everyday...I am a happy and proud mother,you can say. :)
I didn't want to disappoint him but I wouldn't let him spend all his money on his gift for me so I took him to another department store where I saw this dress watch. Mura lang.(P200) :) Told him,"Edman, I like this one.." He reached for his wallet and gave me a P1,000 bill. I really was torn... My heart was soaring because my 9-yr-old son wants to buy ME something...but at the same time,felt guilty that he had saved that money!!
But he paid for it so eagerly..
I kissed him and said, "Thank you,Nak..." then he said,"You're welcome,Ma. Are you hungry? We could go buy some pizza!" :) Consider this as my advance Valentine's treat,he says.
I could almost cry...but I held it back. I was just so happy for him!! My son,all grown up..We got pizza slices,he bought donuts for his little brother,too..
Then he asked," Are you happy,Ma?"
I said,"Oh,yes,I am,Nak! Thank you! You made me happy and proud of you..."
He said,"I am sorry I didn't get you that Gold bracelet". I didn't realize how much he wanted to buy me that.
"I don't need that gold bracelet,Nak.." I have you.. but I wasn't able to say that because I wouldn't be able to fight back the tears and I would really want us to enjoy our advanced Valentine's celebration...
- Addie, Ozamiz City '06
This time, he brought with him his wallet with the money that he had saved during the holidays, monetary gifts from Ninangs and Aunts,his "baon" that he sets aside everyday...I am a happy and proud mother,you can say. :)
I didn't want to disappoint him but I wouldn't let him spend all his money on his gift for me so I took him to another department store where I saw this dress watch. Mura lang.(P200) :) Told him,"Edman, I like this one.." He reached for his wallet and gave me a P1,000 bill. I really was torn... My heart was soaring because my 9-yr-old son wants to buy ME something...but at the same time,felt guilty that he had saved that money!!
But he paid for it so eagerly..
I kissed him and said, "Thank you,Nak..." then he said,"You're welcome,Ma. Are you hungry? We could go buy some pizza!" :) Consider this as my advance Valentine's treat,he says.
I could almost cry...but I held it back. I was just so happy for him!! My son,all grown up..We got pizza slices,he bought donuts for his little brother,too..
Then he asked," Are you happy,Ma?"
I said,"Oh,yes,I am,Nak! Thank you! You made me happy and proud of you..."
He said,"I am sorry I didn't get you that Gold bracelet". I didn't realize how much he wanted to buy me that.
"I don't need that gold bracelet,Nak.." I have you.. but I wasn't able to say that because I wouldn't be able to fight back the tears and I would really want us to enjoy our advanced Valentine's celebration...
- Addie, Ozamiz City '06
If Things Were Different
Somebody asked me...what is it that I would do if things were different, if I didn't marry at 23, had two kids... Instantly, that question brought me to the time when I was 19. I auditioned for a show sponsored by a laundry detergent. It hired a recording Artist, Janet Arnaiz and other stars from "That's Entertainment". Baduy? :) But at that time, it was a chance of a lifetime.. I sang one song and thank God, I got it! I was to front act for Janet, sing four "dance-able" tunes and the best part of it was I was getting paid!! EXcellent. Hehe. So I sang my heart out and TRIED to dance a little (Two of my songs even had back-up dancers!) in front of a not-so-enthusiastic Davao audience… “Feeling” performer and artista talaga! Well, at one point I really felt how it is like..
Janet Arnaiz whom I had the opportunity to meet because she has also sang in one of the Fashions shows I’ve been in. She is so down-to-earth. Met her this second time and she greets me like she’s known me long already. Anyway, we had a motorcade with the announcer saying over the van’s speakers, “Show sponsored by Mr. Clean with guest stars, Janet Arnaiz and…Bernadette Borbon!” Over and over…I was thinking, What the…?! Who the hell is Bernadette Borbon??? People would be wondering that exactly! I found out later that the announcer studied in City High where I also did!! So that’s why!
If matters could get any worse, as we went to the venue for the show, people huddled over to Janet. I was lagging a few meters behind. After awhile, a number of people also surrounded me, would you believe, asking for MY autograph???!!!?? Whaaaat? Help me! I am NOBODY! I am not a star!!! But what the heck, I signed anyway! Realization came when one of Janet’s staff told me that in her attempt to evade the autograph-signing, she has MIS-informed them that I was also a star! Naughty,Janet...tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor fans…going home thinking their autograph has been signed by somebody famous. But really quite the opposite! Whew! It WAS an experience…
So it is pretty obvious what my secret dream is already.(Not so secret anymore) IF things would have happened differently, I would’ve wanted to become a singer. The unbelievable thing is a few days after the show, my father got a call from Janet Arnaiz's manager wanting to know if I was interested to try it at the National scene!!! Oh, how my heart raced!!! But sadly, my father, without hesitation, graciously turned them down…. I had to finish college, he said…
Oh well, so much for dreams. That world wasn’t meant for me, I guess. Snap back to reality, Addie. Back into the arms of the children you prayed to God for… out of the limelight but staying close in the shadows…just like the backroom people who also make the show possible even without being seen… So much like our dear Father who does what is best for us while staying in the background, not doing the entire show Himself but offering you the chance to take part, do your own thing and taking your best shot! With His directions…
As for me, I’m back to sewing! My youngest son, Tommy is playing King Saul in their school play in a few days! I’m getting butterflies in my stomach for him. This stage mother is staying behind the scenes and allowing her child to let his light shine. After all, it’s THEIR time to shine.
- Addie
Janet Arnaiz whom I had the opportunity to meet because she has also sang in one of the Fashions shows I’ve been in. She is so down-to-earth. Met her this second time and she greets me like she’s known me long already. Anyway, we had a motorcade with the announcer saying over the van’s speakers, “Show sponsored by Mr. Clean with guest stars, Janet Arnaiz and…Bernadette Borbon!” Over and over…I was thinking, What the…?! Who the hell is Bernadette Borbon??? People would be wondering that exactly! I found out later that the announcer studied in City High where I also did!! So that’s why!
If matters could get any worse, as we went to the venue for the show, people huddled over to Janet. I was lagging a few meters behind. After awhile, a number of people also surrounded me, would you believe, asking for MY autograph???!!!?? Whaaaat? Help me! I am NOBODY! I am not a star!!! But what the heck, I signed anyway! Realization came when one of Janet’s staff told me that in her attempt to evade the autograph-signing, she has MIS-informed them that I was also a star! Naughty,Janet...tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor fans…going home thinking their autograph has been signed by somebody famous. But really quite the opposite! Whew! It WAS an experience…
So it is pretty obvious what my secret dream is already.(Not so secret anymore) IF things would have happened differently, I would’ve wanted to become a singer. The unbelievable thing is a few days after the show, my father got a call from Janet Arnaiz's manager wanting to know if I was interested to try it at the National scene!!! Oh, how my heart raced!!! But sadly, my father, without hesitation, graciously turned them down…. I had to finish college, he said…
Oh well, so much for dreams. That world wasn’t meant for me, I guess. Snap back to reality, Addie. Back into the arms of the children you prayed to God for… out of the limelight but staying close in the shadows…just like the backroom people who also make the show possible even without being seen… So much like our dear Father who does what is best for us while staying in the background, not doing the entire show Himself but offering you the chance to take part, do your own thing and taking your best shot! With His directions…
As for me, I’m back to sewing! My youngest son, Tommy is playing King Saul in their school play in a few days! I’m getting butterflies in my stomach for him. This stage mother is staying behind the scenes and allowing her child to let his light shine. After all, it’s THEIR time to shine.
- Addie
Edge of Reason
"Happiness is possible. Even when you're 33 and buttocks as big as bowling balls... :)"
Bridget Jones movie. Not even sure if it was the Edge of Reason. Was only able to see the movie towards the end. But I loved it! Maybe because I can relate to it?? Haha! I am 33 but the bowling balls? Maybe not a ten-pin..:)
Chubby lead actresses, not so usual and having the time of her life.. I enjoyed it! Renee having plumped up for the role. Amazing! Yes, it may very well be easy gaining those pounds but was it easy shedding them after the movie??
I have always been thin as a child. Had a big problem with my arms in High School. They were so thin I had to wear long-sleeves almost always. I didn't think it was proportionate to my body.
But now...how I wish I could have it all back! Thin,slim arms.. Trim hips and abs..where did that time go??
Must be age. The 30 something crisis. There was a time I could eat all I want not worrying or needing to count the calories... a lot of other things we are "concerned" about now, as we age. No, not the word "worry". Lines to your forehead,remember?
Showed a recent picture of me to Edman and asked him if I looked fat. Before he answered,he embraced me and said, "Ma, I can't tell you the truth..." and ofcourse, the truth hurts.. Had a hard time trying not to laugh! My son loves me.:)
As I look at my beer-belly,I see it all had a reason. My tummy is because of my Tommy and my Edman. My round hips are for when I have to carry them. My arms are to sustain their weight. Justifications,ok,yes!
Don't get me wrong. I don't mind it that much. What is important is that my children see through me, they love me... in any form or shape I take. I believe that my family and friends don't mind it that much either. Maybe it's just me.
Even as our metabolism rate drops, there are too many things we can still be happy about. We'll find out soon enough that it far outweighs... our weight!
Bridget Jones movie. Not even sure if it was the Edge of Reason. Was only able to see the movie towards the end. But I loved it! Maybe because I can relate to it?? Haha! I am 33 but the bowling balls? Maybe not a ten-pin..:)
Chubby lead actresses, not so usual and having the time of her life.. I enjoyed it! Renee having plumped up for the role. Amazing! Yes, it may very well be easy gaining those pounds but was it easy shedding them after the movie??
I have always been thin as a child. Had a big problem with my arms in High School. They were so thin I had to wear long-sleeves almost always. I didn't think it was proportionate to my body.
But now...how I wish I could have it all back! Thin,slim arms.. Trim hips and abs..where did that time go??
Must be age. The 30 something crisis. There was a time I could eat all I want not worrying or needing to count the calories... a lot of other things we are "concerned" about now, as we age. No, not the word "worry". Lines to your forehead,remember?
Showed a recent picture of me to Edman and asked him if I looked fat. Before he answered,he embraced me and said, "Ma, I can't tell you the truth..." and ofcourse, the truth hurts.. Had a hard time trying not to laugh! My son loves me.:)
As I look at my beer-belly,I see it all had a reason. My tummy is because of my Tommy and my Edman. My round hips are for when I have to carry them. My arms are to sustain their weight. Justifications,ok,yes!
Don't get me wrong. I don't mind it that much. What is important is that my children see through me, they love me... in any form or shape I take. I believe that my family and friends don't mind it that much either. Maybe it's just me.
Even as our metabolism rate drops, there are too many things we can still be happy about. We'll find out soon enough that it far outweighs... our weight!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)